


Strange Mannerisms

by GoingDeceased



Series: In Defense of the Dark Sides [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cat!Virgil, Deceit owns a snake because I said so, No unsympathetic sides in this house, Rated T for Remus, Sexual innuendos, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Remus, Thomas is so confused, prinxiety if you squint - Freeform, thanks remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 21:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20607518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoingDeceased/pseuds/GoingDeceased
Summary: Ever since Virgil told Thomas that he was a Dark Side and had a freak out, which lead to a much needed talk, the Dark Sides had been a more common sight in his apartment. Thomas had slowly started to realize that the three of them had some… interesting quirks.





	Strange Mannerisms

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeyyo took me long enough huh?

Ever since Virgil told Thomas that he was a Dark Side and had a freakout, which lead to a much needed talk, the Dark Sides had been a more common sight in his apartment. Thomas had slowly started to realize that the three of them had some… interesting quirks. He first noticed it with Deceit.

Thomas walked down the stairs to find Deceit lounging in a sunspot by the window. He was just lying on the floor with his eyes closed. He peered around the living room, it seemed like Deceit was the only side out. A rare thing for Deceit as he usually only came out when either Remus or Virgil were as well. “Oh uh hey Deceit whatcha doing out here?”

Deceit’s eyes remained closed while he answered. “Hm? Am I not allowed to be out here?” He asked, his voice daring Thomas. 

“No, no I didn’t say that. It’s just you usually stay in the Mindscape, it’s not wrong to be curious is it?” Thomas responded, making his way over to the side.

Deceit cracked his snakelike eye open as Thomas’ shadow fell over him. He blinked his eyes open, adjusting to the rooms light, and shot a glare at Thomas. “You are definitely *not* blocking my sun.”

Thomas looked behind himself. He was indeed standing in front of the window. “Er sorry? You didn’t answer my question though.” He pointed out, moving out of the way of the window.

“I figured it was obvious Thomas. Apparently Logic needs to ‘up his game’ so to speak.” He closed his eyes again. “And to answer your question, I’m basking in the sun.”

“Well yeah I got that, but don’t you have sunlight in the Mindscape? I figured Roman or Remus could conjure up light or something?”

“They can.” He answered lethargic from the warmth. “But nothing beats the real thing. I never got many, or any really, chances when I was hiding myself and the Others from you.”

Thomas cringed a little at the reminder of how he unknowingly treated his sides. “I never even thought about you guys never being able to come out of my mind. I’m so sorry Deceit.”

“I *don’t* accept your apology. You couldn’t have known, if you did I would be pretty bad at what I do.” Deceit said waving off Thomas’ apology. Deceit’s eyes shot open and he quickly sat up. “Oh I know who would love this as well. I *won't* be back.” 

Thomas jumped at the sudden outburst and departure of the side. Deceit was back seconds later holding something in his arms. Thomas had to blink a few times to make sure he was seeing correctly. No his eyes didn’t suddenly start playing tricks on him. In Deceit’s arms was a snake that was at least four feet, but it was the fact that it had two heads that threw him off. 

“This is Scylla and Charybdis, they’re my baby girls.” Deceit cooed at them stroking the spine. 

“You have a pet snake? Where did you even get it? Isn’t that a bit weird, because you know your...” Thomas gestured towards his face.

Deceit rolled his eyes. “I may have snake traits Thomas, but I am a sentient being who is capable of advanced thinking. These two are not capable of advanced thinking, there is a difference. And to answer your other question Remus summoned them, it’s why there are two heads. Yes he did make an inappropriate joke about ‘two heads’.” 

“Gross. But the rest makes sense I guess.” Thomas shrugged. He got up from the couch and hesitantly stroked the snake. The two heads turned towards Thomas, and started to climb onto his arm. “Oh hi there.” He said bracing his arm in expectancy of the added weight. .After a few minutes though he handed the snake back.

Deceit took the two headed snake into his arms and slowly laid down in the spot he was before. Scylla and Charybdis’ body coiled on his chest. Soon the Deceitful side was asleep aided by the warmth of the sun and pressure of the snake on his chest. Thomas smiled at the sight, he took out his phone and took a picture of the sleeping side. Sure he would only be able to show his sides it, anyone else he tried to show it to would just see an empty floor. He found that out the hard way. For now though he’d let sleeping snakes lie. 

The second time Thomas came across Deceit alone it was storming and something went wrong with the AC in the whole apartment complex so it was blasting cold air. He was wrapped up in a pile of blankets on the couch. Once the bundled up side caught sight of Thomas he glared at him as if he kicked him to the floor and spit on him for good measure. Thomas uncomfortably shift back and forth on his feet. The fact that Deceit didn’t seem to need to blink as often as the average person made it even more uncomfortable. “Everything okay there Deceit?”

“*Yes* it *is*. It is way too *hot* in this house.” He hissed retreating deeper into the blankets.

“Too hot but-? Oh never mind I get it. I’d offer to help but it looks like you currently have all the blankets in the house.” Thomas laughed. “So all I can really offer is my body heat.” He joked.

“That works for me.” Deceit said shimmying over to make room.

Thomas blinked in surprise, but he couldn’t exactly back out now. It wasn’t like it was uncommon for his sides to cuddle with him, Roman and Patton especially liked to show affection through touch. There was nothing wrong with physical affection between friends...or between himself? He never really liked to think what exactly being friends with different aspects of himself implied. Sure he knew they were him in the simplest sense, but they were also their own people in a way. Roman knew Spanish, Logan knew how to communicate in Morse and binary code, Virgil listened to music that was more up Taylen’s ally, Patton could cook a lot better than him, Deceit was scarily charismatic where he couldn’t even talk to a pretty boy, and Remus- 

“Stop contemplating what us existing might mean for your mental state and come here, it’s not getting any warmer. And I’d also appreciate not having to do even more work when it’s freezing.” Deceits muffled voice come from underneath the blankets.

Thomas chuckled and sat next to the side, adjusting and moving blankets as needed. He cautiously put his arm around Deceits back and shifted closer. Okay wow Deceit was actually pretty cold.

“You feel like a living space heater.” Deceit said adjusting his body a bit. ”Mmmh feels nice.”

After a few minutes Deceit wrapped his own arm around Thomas, he yawned and snuggled closer to him. Thomas’ arm was starting to fall asleep, but just like if an animal was in your lap, Thomas knew he couldn't move and would have to resign himself to being a cuddle heater.

By the time another side appeared in the apartment Deceit was asleep all six of his arms were manifested and wrapped tightly around Thomas, to the point where he couldn’t move even if he wanted to. Logan rose an eyebrow at the sight he rose up to. “Am I interrupting something?”

Thomas grimaced as he tried to shift with no avail. “No, not really. Deceit just kept complaining about the cold and we ended up here. Actually though, since you’re here, mind explaining the six arms things? I never understood it, like he’s part snake or whatever but i’m pretty sure snakes have no arms not six.”

“Oh that’s actually quite simple.. Some species of snakes use venom to incapacitate its prey, and others crush and constrict. The six arms are basically for constructing since, to my knowledge at least, Deceit does not have the flexibility of a snake. But since Deceit is more human, or at least humanoid since us sides aren’t technically human, than snake they seem to be more useful for lengthy amounts of close physical contact.”

“Okay, makes sense I suppose. Any chance you will help me get unstuck without waking him? I’m starting to lose feeling in my arms.” Thomas pleaded, sure cuddling with Deceit was nice but he literally couldn’t move from the neck down.

“No I do not believe I will assist you. In fact I know an even better thing to do in this situation.” Logan said as he took a picture. “I am sure Patton would appreciate seeing this, and the other sides will at least find it amusing.”

“That’s cold Logic, thats' real cold.” Thomas glared as Logan sunk out, forgetting whatever he had come up for in the first place.

* * *

It was a few days after when Virgil’s behavior stood out. Sure by now he was used to Virgil’s strange behavior, but he was seeing it in a different light now. Thomas walked into the kitchen to make lunch, noticing Roman, Remus, and Patton sitting at the table. Well Roman and Patton were sitting, Remus was upside down his torso threaded through the hole in the back of the chair. Thomas just shrugged, little by little he was getting used to Remus’ eccentrics. 

He made his way to the fridge making idle talk with his sides. Not paying much attention to the room around him. So when he was grabbing some leftovers and he heard a voice come from above him he promptly dropped his food. “Could you grab me the blueberries?”

“OH MY- Virgil! What are you doing on top of the fridge?” Thomas yelled.

“Sitting.” Virgil responded as if it were obvious. “So the blueberries?” He asked again. 

Thomas looked down forlornly at his dropped food before grabbing the carton of blueberries and handing them to his anxious side. Doing his best to ignore the two creative sides laughing at him. He cleaned up the mess then sadly grabbed some yogurt. “You want my yogurt as well? Or am I allowed to eat it without dropping it or one of you heathens eating it?”

“Oh no I can’t have yogurt, I’m lactose intolerant.” Virgil said popping berries into his mouth. 

“Wha- how? Why? I’m not, how come you are?” His neck was starting to hurt from looking up at Virgil. “And once again I will ask, why are you on the fridge?”

“Ooh ooh I know this one, Logan was talking about it the other day.” Patton said jumping up. Apparently it’s so they can see the room better and be harder for predators to reach. Cool right?”

‘Wait what? Who’s ‘they’?” Thomas asked looking over at Patton.

Before the moral side could answer Virgil spoke up. “Nothing important.” He sent a glare at the three sides to stay quiet. “Like I said sometimes you just gotta sit on surfaces that aren’t meant to be sat on.”

He supposed he couldn’t argue with that. Remus apparently could. “You haven’t told him yet? It’s going to come up eventually emo. Like an ignored STD it’s only gonna appear with a fiery, and possibly itchy, vengeance.”

Thomas looked back and forth between the two sides, who were currently locked in a stare down. Virgil looked away first, jumping down from the fridge tossing the blueberries onto the counter before stalking out of the kitchen. “What was that about?”  
“Oh he’s just being his normal broody self. He’s always been like this, kind of a buzzkill if you ask me. But if someone was actually was killed it would be more interesting.” Remus shrugged.

“I’m going to check on panic at the everywhere, knowing him he’s already coming up with enough different scenarios it’d put my ability to shame.” Roman said standing up following after Virgil.

It was a few hours later and Thomas was working on the script for his next video. He was interrupted however by Roman rising up complaining loudly. “Thomas I blame you for the absolute horrid realization that has occurred.”

Thomas looked up when he heard Remus laughing loudly and Virgil trying to stifle his own laughter. He was quite surprised to see his ego quite literally bruised. “Oh god, Roman are you alright? What happened? Why are you two laughing he’s hurt!” Thomas panicked.

“Virgil happened.” The fanciful side grumbled as he shot a glare at the anxious one. 

Thomas looked at Virgil who, with baggy clothes and compared to Roman, looked absolutely scrawny. “Virgil? As in that Virgil? Are we thinking about the same person?” Sure he could be scary sometimes, it was his job, but Thomas doubted he could fight Roman and get out unscathed let alone win one.

“Hey sorry but I did tell you it was a bad idea, you’re the one who kept insisting.” Virgil pointed out, not really sounding that apologetic.

Roman crossed his arms in a pout. “Well what was I supposed to do when Remus said he couldn’t beat you in a fight? It was the perfect chance to prove my strength!”

In all honesty that only raised more questions for Thomas. “So did you guys duel then? I’m sorry i’m just still very confused.”

Roman huffed but started to explain what went down… 

_ “Here I'll prove it to you. VIIIIRRRRGGIIILLLLL.” Remus’ voice rang throughout the Mindpalace. The broody side appeared a few seconds later with a questioning look. “Oh goodie you came. I thought I’d have to get Roman to drag you out of bed, though you both would probably enjoy that hmm?” He winked. Ignoring the two glares he continued. “Roman and I keep reaching a draw during our duels. So I cleverly suggested that whoever could beat you in a duel would be the winner.” _

_ Roman laughed, “You were serious about that? Virgil’s first instinct in any situation of conflict is to run. No offence.” He added. _

_Virgil shrugged, for the most part he wasn’t wrong. Remus examined his nails, “Then you shouldn’t have a problem beating him. I’ll even let you go first, unless you’re scared that is.”__  
_ _Roman scoffed. “The only thing I’m scared about is hurting Virgil. We both have been in countless valiant fights with countless enemies. Virgil’s only conflict is whether or not to let Thomas leave the house that day.” He looked over to Virgil. “You don’t have to put yourself in harms way to settle the stalemate between us, there’s no need to embarrass yourself.”_

_ Virgil quirked an eyebrow, his eyes darting to Remus who was violently nodding his head behind Roman. “Eh I don’t see the harm in it. Not like we can get permanently injured anyway. You can just tap out when you’ve had enough of a beating.” At Remus’ lewd look he shot back. “Not like that and you know it you perv.” _

_ “Excuse me, when I tap out? Oh it’s on Elpha-bitter.” Roman led the way into the imagination, where an arena was set up. He summoned his sword and looked at Virgil. “You might want to take off your hoodie, and I’m assuming you need to borrow a weapon?” _

_ Virgil took a slow deep breath, smirked, then balled his hands into fists. “I think I'll be fine. Remus you doing the count off?” _

_ Roman suddenly felt a bit apprehensive at Virgil’s newfound confidence. But no time to dwell on that, Remus was already counting down. Roman readied his sword 3...2...1! Roman lunged forward, no time for doubt in battle, sword aimed straight at Virgil. Who had not yet moved an inch, he didn’t even look like he was bracing for a blow. This wasn’t just an elaborate prank his brother is playing on him to get him to impale Virgil was it? _

_ Soon the only question on Roman’s mined was ‘what?’ when Virgil sidestepped his sword last second, wearing a twisted smirk he hadn't seen since he started living with Roman and the rest. Roman shook off the shock and swung again only for Virgil to keep dodging with almost inhuman grace. _

_ Virgil called up to Remus, not taking his eyes off of Roman. “We doing street rules or nah?” _

_ “Unless you want to truly embarrass him even more, while it would be fun, no. He hasn't fought street style yet, and I can’t even beat you and I have four extra limbs.” Remus responded with a laugh. _

_ Before Roman could ask what ‘street rules’ were Virgil threw his first punch. Roman ducked out of the way, “Come on you’re going to have to try- oof.” he was cut off as Virgil's second fistm ade contact with his stomach. He then landed another blow across Roman’s jaw. He recovered quickly though, this wasn’t his first fight. _

_ Roman managed to get a hit in across Virgil’s side, ripping a slash in the side of his hoodie. A small trickle of blood pooling at the sight. Virgil hissed at the sudden pain, at Roman’s next swing he grabbed the flat of the blade with his palms and twisted it out of his grasp. Throwing it to the side out of reach. Roman quickly brought his fist up in a defensive position. _

_ It didn’t do much though, as Virgil unleashed a quick series of punches and kicks. Roman quickly found himself laying face down in the dirt. He refused to be defeated though, he quickly hoisted himself up and lunged at Virgil. He grappled him to the ground with a yell. “Haha! Looks like you’re the one who’s tapping out.”  _

_ Virgil just smiled and flipped the two over so he was straddling Roman’s hips arms pinned to the side. “Tapping out yet?” Roman could hear the smirk in his voice. _

_ Roman lifted his head off the ground as much as he could and grumbled. “Yes.” _

_ “Huh what was that, I couldn’t quite hear you?” Virgil laughed. _

_ “I said, yes I yield.” He pouted. _

…”And that’s how these two fiends conspired against me.” Roman huffed.

By the end of the story Thomas was laughing along with the other two. “Dang Virge, since when could you fight?”  
Virgil shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m fight or flight y’know? I’d be kinda useless if I could only achieve half of that.”  
Remus snorted, “Being able to do back flips probably helps too. Along with your freaky reflexes.” Virgil gave Remus a lighthearted glare.

“You both are okay though right?” Thomas asked calming down a bit.

“Yes, we’re fine Virgil just has a small scratch. I’m a bit roughed up thanks to these two ganging up on me like a pack of wild animals, but I’ve had worse.” Roman rolled his eyes but his words help no malice.

“I don’t know being a wild animal has it’s perks. Like I once asked Deceit about his snake side because I heard snakes have two di-”

“I am not listening to you wonder about that out loud again. Scarred me the first time, who knows what’ll happen a second time.” Virgil stopped him before he could continue.

“It is a perfectly reasonable question Virgil. I am well antiquated with my own anatomy, is it wrong to be curious about others? Actually that reminds me did you know male ca-”

“Nope, nope, no. I’m out I’m gone. If you need me I will be in my room trying to bleach everything Remus from my brain.” Virgil said sinking out.

“I still stand by that he had an unfair advantage with his reflexes and flexibility.” Roman grumbled.

Thomas gave Roman a sympathetic look. “Aw i’m sure you could catch up to him if you train your own reflexes and stuff.”

Roman snorted, “Psh yeah good one Thomas. Well while Virgil is off licking his wound, I shall go tend to mine, ta ta!” He sunk out bringing his brother with him before Thomas could ask anymore questions.

* * *

It was harder to notice things off about Remus, both because Thomas hadn’t known him as long and he was… well Remus. But there were certainly things that jumped out.

“Hggggggr…” Remus seemed to be vibrating, unable to sit still.

“You okay there kiddo? You seem a bit er, pent up?” Patton inquired. The sides were all in the living room. It was normally the day of the week they would have a movie night together, but Joan was coming over. It was kind of hard to say ‘No it;s not a good time for you to come over. I’m watching movies with different aspects of my personality, you know the ones you think I made up for videos?’ So they just settled on just spending some time together before Joan arrived. 

“NO I’M NOT! I’m borrrrrrreedddd.” Remus tossed himself onto the floor. His hands pulling at the ruffles on his outfit.

“At the moment or in general?” Deceit asked.

“In general! There’s nothing to do! Why can’t your shitty brain be more interesting Thomas?”  
Roman looked up from his sketchbook, brows knitted together. “Wouldn’t it be half your fault if his brain is boring? Plus didn’t we just make a new setup together like last week?”

Roman sighed, “Very well, I shall be back momentarily.” He proclaimed with a flourish before sinking out.

Remus tapped his hands on the floor repeatedly. He huffed before exclaiming, “Could you boil spaghetti with blood instead of water?”  
Thomas gave Remus a horrified look. Logan on the other hand looked intrigued. “Assuming you are able to obtain enough blood to fill a pot, yes. The boiling point for blood is roughly the same as water. You would have to be able to stomach the intense iron smell and taste of course. Though I doubt that would be much of an issue with you looking at your eating habits.”

Remus clapped his hands together. “You wouldn’t even need to add sauce! It would already be red!”

Remus was then hit in the face with a cube courtesy of Roman. Who had appeared a few seconds earlier. Remus lit up, taking the cube and dismantling it before trying to fit the pieces together again. Logan gave Roman an affronted look. “Is that one of my puzzle cubes? Did you take that from my room?”  
Roman waved him off. “Would you rather him continue asking more obscene and grotesque questions?”

“Wouldn’t it be fucked up if you carved a watermelon in the shape of a baby? Like with the shell as the cradle, and then you ate it?”

Thomas ran his hands through his hair. “What? The shell? Do you mean the rind? And what did Roman mean when he mentioned a setup?”

“Oh Remus gets even more annoying than usual when he’s bored.”  
“It’s true I do.”

“So whenever he gets too bored we hop into the imagination and change the current setup. Which is something we first made when we were younger, changing it over time to avoid boredom. It has training areas, adventurous puzzles of epic and deadly proportions, and some obstacle courses! And Remus blows through them all at a ridiculous pace.” Roman rolled his eyes.

“Not my fault i’m spontaneous, and interesting, part of creativity. I need enrichment or I will create it.” Remus sat up.

“Oh yes because bothering Thomas with demented thoughts is so very enriching.” Roman deadpanned.

“Actually it is and-”

The brewing argument was cut short by a pound at the door. “Thomathy open up!” Joan’s muffled voice came through the door.

“Coming!” Thomas yelled back. “Sorry we couldn’t watch a movie tonight guys, hopefully next week we can watch one.” He said in a low voice to his sides.

The sides gave their farewells and sunk out. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Remus said, not bothering to be quiet, not like Joan could hear the sides anyway. He sunk out waiving the finished puzzle cube in the air.

“That doesn’t restrict much.” Thomas muttered before heading over to let Joan inside. Hopefully they were up for pizza, or maybe mexican.

It was a few days later the next time Remus made Thomas question his sanity and how his mind worked. Remus was sitting upside down on the ceiling, and honestly T homas wasn’t in the mood to question how or why at the moment. He tossed aside the broom in frustration, it failing to achieve the task he wanted.

Remus laughed watching Thomas’ plight. Thomas sighed and sank down to the floor, leaning against the fridge. His wallet had fallen down the crack between the fridge and the counter, and despite his efforts nothing had worked to get it out. The broom had only pushed the wallet farther back. “You know you could help instead of just sitting there?” Thomas grumbled.

“All you had to do is ask.” Remus said jumping down, landing not so gracefully. Though Thomas had a feeling the botched landing was intentional. Remus picked himself off the floor,. he made his way over to Thomas shooing him out of the way of the fridge.

Thomas watched as his more vulgar side peered down between the fridge humming. “What are you-” He was interrupted as Remus turned his side to the fridge and started to squeeze himself between the fridge and counter. Thomas watched on in horror as Remus’ body squeezed and contorted to fit into the small space. He looked away suppressing a gag, this. was. so. much. worse. than the stretchy arms. 

Remus emerged his body popping back into shape, wallet triumphantly in hand. Presenting it with a bow to Thomas. “Easy squeezie.”

“What the hell was that?” Thomas asked, hesitantly grabbing the item. 

“Me retrieving the item you dropped.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Remus shrugged, “Perks of being part octopus, I technically don’t have bones. It also opens up so many fun possibilities.” He said shimming his shoulders raising his eyebrows. 

“Oh okay.” He paused. “Wait what? Ew. Wait what?” Thomas’ face twisted into a mixture of confusion and disgust. But before he could demand an answer Remus sunk out mumbling something about tentacles. And you know what, Thomas really didn’t want to know

* * *

It all came to a head though when Thomas asked what he thought was a simple and innocent question. “So why do you and Deceit have animal traits anyway?” It was a long day of filming and editing and all the sides and Thomas were tired and just trying to relax a bit.

The conversations between all sides stopped, even Remus wasn’t talking. It was Deceit who broke the silence. “Are you sure you want to know?” The way he said it made Thomas uneasy in a way he couldn't exactly pinpoint.

“Well yeah? Unless you guys don’t want to tell me and are uncomfortable talking about it! Because it’s totally fine if you two don’t want to.” He quickly reassured. 

Deceit met Virgil’s eyes asking a silent question. Virgil gave a small shrug and a nod, allowing Deceit to continue whatever was about to be told. “It was when you were younger and we were just starting to manifest more than just the concepts we represent. We didn’t start to have solid stable forms until you were about five. Our forms were decided by your subconscious.” The sides around flinched at the mention of the subconscious. “For us sides you didn’t want to acknowledge, your subconscious did something quite clever. You were taught from a young age that what we represent is wrong, so you at a young age, viewed people with those traits as inhuman. But that's where the problem lay, you had those traits in you still so our forms took on more animalistic traits to distance your view of your humanity from us. With the exception of Remus of course as he came about after King was split”

“Wait you said what he thought was wrong…” Patton said in horror once Deceit had finished. “Did- did I do this to you guys?” He looked like he was on the verge of crying.

Deceit looked taken aback at the sudden display of emotion. “* _ Yes* _ it was * _ totally*  _ your fault. We weren’t fully developed yet Patton even if was you were slightly at fault you couldn’t have known better.” Deceit tried to reassure the moral side. 

Patton gave a small sniffle, “You mean it?”  
“*_No* _of course I *_don’t*.”_ Deceit shook his head.

Patton surged forward and brought the other oldest side into a hug. The other sides looked on in concern. “You okay there Dad?” Virgil asked.

“Yeah i’m good kiddo.”

“I’m alright Virgil no need to worry.”

The two looked at each other awkwardly. “Well dad’t is an issue that’ll have to be fixed. Maybe we could go by different paternal titles?” Patton suggested wiping his eyes.

“Oh I know! Since Padre Patton is already the dad Deceit should be the mom.” Roman laughed.

“That would work.” Deceit nodded.

Romans laughter was cut short “Wait what?”

Deceit shrugged, “Gender and parental titles are just societal concepts anyway. I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

Thomas blinked rapidly his brain processing everything it was just given. “Wait backtracking to the whole animal trait thing. Deceit you obviously are a snake, Remus is apparently an octopus but, I viewed anxiety as a bad thing for such a long time, why doesn’t Virgil have one?”

“You’ve got to be kitten me, he still hasn't told you yet? Come on emo you left us for like two years and you haven’t fucking told him yet? I thought I did a good job convincing you the other day. And here I thought you all were friends” Remus drawled on.

Virgil let out a puff of breath trying to blow some hair from his eyes. “No I never told Thomas \, he just learned I was one of the Others I wasn’t going to spring me being part cat on him!” 

“Well looks like the cat’s out of the bag, don’t worry kiddo you’re purrfect just the way you are.” Patton laughed, “Sorry I’ve been wanting to get those out for such a long time it was pawsitively clawful.” 

Logan let out a groan at the puns and Virgil put his hand near his mouth to hide his smile. “Oh my god that makes so much sense!” Thomas exclaimed. “You are always sitting in weird places you lay in sunspots almost as much as Deceit! You literally have cat-like reflexes!” He paused. “But you don’t look very catlike at all? Or is it like Remus and his bones? Or well Lack of bones.”

“Oh well I sort of just shape shifted to look more normal. It’s my eyes if you were wondering.” Virgil shrugged. He blinked and when his eyes opened one purple and one green cat eye were revealed. 

“That is really cool don’t get me wrong, but your eyes make you look like something I would have made during my edgy teen years.” Though he supposed Virgil already did before. “...Wait a minute you said you were lactose intolerant, does that mean Deceit eats rodents?” He gave the side in question an uneasy glance.

Deceit scoffed and put a hand to his chest, “Honestly Thomas how little do you think of me? Unlike the rest of you, I am dignified.” Virgil and Remus let out snorts but quickly muffled their laughter with a glare from Deceit. “Remus on the other hand has eaten mice and rats numerous times.”

“It’s true, they taste the best with mustard.” Remus grinned, having summoned a mustard bottle and a piece of meat on a stick what Thomas could only assume was a rodent of some type. “Did you know.” He said in between bites, “That octopuses die after sex?”

Roman took a few steps away from his brother. His nose wrinkled in disgust at the sight and smell. “Well which one of you is going to take the bullet?”


End file.
